Juggling Act
The funny thing about advice is you often cannot fully grasp or appreciate it until after you've experienced what you were encouraged to do. With that in mind, here are six pieces of advice for incoming college freshman, which one day you will understand.
1. College is a balance.
This was the most useful piece of advice I received from an upperclassman during our first floor meeting of freshman year. I understood balance to some degree from the activities I juggled in high school, but every semester of college I continue learn how difficult and true this statement really is. In the juggling act of academics, a social life, extracurriculars, and other enticing opportunities college offers, give yourself grace. Start small, juggling just a few basic balls your first semester. As more commitments are added, be willing to drop a few balls because it's impossible to balance everything perfectly. Some weeks may include more homework and less social time, and the next week could switch. A healthy balance does not mean you spend an equal amount of time on everything. And know that everyone is learning to juggle; give others grace when they drop the ball.
2. Don't underestimate sleep, or studying.
Finding balance in your days leads to my second point. Sleep and studying are the two things that seem to be tossed off most readily in college, but are arguably the most important. You simply won't remember information if you do not get adequate sleep (minimum 6 hours), and believe me, cramming does not work. Take time and ask for help to develop good studying techniques that work for you. There does come a point where sleeping is more important than a homework assignment, and in finding balance, it's okay to not be perfect. Ultimately, making healthy choices for your body and mind is most important.
3. Get outside your comfort zone.
Risk vulnerability and find ways to press into discomfort. This could mean reaching out to a professor for academic help or personal advice. It most definitely will look like hard conversations with friends and roommates where you must be direct. It could mean applying for a club on campus, or forming connections with a family in the local community. Whatever it is, don't let overthinking or projecting possible outcomes stop you. You'll never know the outcome until you try, but you can trust these experiences that feel like a reach are shaping and stretching you; they are the tangible and rewarding moments where you grow by stepping out in faith and vulnerability.
4. Smile at everyone.
This might also be a step outside your comfort zone, but it truly makes a difference as you walk around campus. It is so easy to look at your phone and avoid eye contact with people, but we do this at the expense of affirming the dignity of the people around us. When we take the time to meet others' eyes and simply smile, it makes you feel better about yourself, and could make the other person's day to know they are seen and acknowledged. It is also easy to fall into the "I'm on my own" or "I have to fight to be seen" mentality. By slowing down enough to see others, you won't feel feel as isolated, and you will likely receive smiles back.
5. Don't take yourself too seriously.
Yes, you are at school to study and obtain a degree. But college can be some of the best years of your life, so have fun and don't wish or waste it away! Be weird and have spontaneous dance parties. After all, seriousness is not a fruit of the Spirit. College is a time where everyone is learning who they are and how to express themselves. It is tempting to wear a mask that makes it look like you have everything together. Take it from a senior: we don't have it all together, we just get better at hiding our mistakes. Be brave enough to not wear a mask, and show people that you are human. Be yourself, and the right people will love you for it.
6. Lasting friendships take time.
Do not expect to find your best friends immediately. True friends will stand the test of time; a test that lasts beyond your freshman year. Deep friendships take effort and vulnerability, but they are worth the effort and wait to develop. In the chaos of the first few weeks of college, there is pressure to find 'your people' quickly and stick with them forever. Don't play this comparison game! The truth is, they're probably not having as much fun as they want you to think. Be present in the moment, with the people you are with, seeking to know them instead of wishing you were somewhere else. Surround yourself with people who challenge, support, encourage, and inspire you. You don't have to be best friends with everyone, but you can expect that time, intentionality and patience will reveal who your true friends are.
To anyone leaving home for the first time: you are not alone. There will be times when leaving home is hard, it hurts, and it is completely acceptable to cry. Trust the process, knowing that it will get better and these challenges are meant to grow you. Cherish these moments of transition and be okay with the tension. Finally, worry less and worship more. The same God who was near to you at home will continue to lavish His love upon you whether you move 5 minutes or 5 hours away. He is trustworthy, He is our Redeemer, and He has good plans for us! Walk in the confidence of God's steadfast love, and open your hands to receive the gift of this new and precious season of life.
"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble and gathered in from the lands, from the east and from the west, from the north and from the south." Psalm 107:1-3