My dear friend Yazmin calls herself a recovering perfectionist, and I've adopted the phrase.

Perfectionism is often celebrated in American culture, and in the church as well. You are admired for getting the best grades and volunteering with numerous organizations. You're considered a good student and a good Christian if you are always striving to become the best.

But somewhere along the way, perfectionism started to be a nice way to embrace insecurity. We turn in the paper for school or assignment at work, and blame our dissatisfaction with the outcome on our perfectionism. I constantly find myself thinking "it's not perfect, but I guess it's good enough." The rest of the sentence goes unsaid, but not unfelt: "I guess it's good enough... to keep up my image and reputation."

Perfectionism has become a socially acceptable mask (no pun intended during COVID days) to help us build an indestructible reputation. When I claim I am a perfectionist, I claim my identity is based solely on what I can control. I claim I am only as good as the flawless image I create. I believe anything less than perfect needs to be hidden.

What if we didn't try to cover up our mistakes? What if we didn't cling to perfectionism as our saving grace? Because we already have a saving God who loves us in the middle of our mess. In fact, to admit and embrace mistakes is to be human, in all our beauty and brokenness.

I'm a recovering perfectionist because it takes time and many mistakes to unlearn these habits. For example, I recently started a new job and my boss told me to "go for the B" in most projects I'm assigned. It was the first time I was given a task and specifically told to not do it perfectly, and yet, I still find myself striving for perfection in all things in order to impress my new coworkers. And therein lies the trap: I want to impress people because I'm insecure in my identity.

When I admit that perfectionism is an identity issue, I begin to accept the freedom that is found in being human and being honest about mistakes. A weak yes is still a yes, and I've had to practice saying a very weak yes to letting trusted people into my mess. Into the unprocessed thoughts and the areas where I feel totally insecure. While it feels uncomfortable at first, there is no shame in embracing our humanity. In fact, it's in our shortcomings that we see our need for Jesus, so we should proclaim our mistakes until it's normal to do so!

Once we realize the identity crisis that lies behind insecurity and perfectionism, we are freed to realign our identity with the One who made us. Do you know who you are, and the unique ways God made you? Write it down! What do you have to offer the world that no one else has? Do you know whose you are?

Friend, you are a walking image of the eternal God. If you are a believer, you belong to Christ and He is in you. When you are frustrated because you're not living up to your perfectionistic standards, remember Jesus, the only One who is perfect. Jesus, who says you are enough and everything you do is enough, because He was enough in our place.

"The God who draws me is urging me on, and I discover my faltering yes."