(Still) Waiting
"What are you waiting for?"
A question that can cause so much shame and anxiety. Sometimes we're waiting out of fear; scared to take a leap of faith. Sometimes we're waiting because the next step is out of our control or has yet to be revealed. Usually, waiting is a place of discomfort; not what we would choose for ourselves.
In these days of Holy Week leading up to Christ's passion and resurrection, I am struck by how much waiting Jesus endured. He waited 30 years to begin his public ministry. Once he started teaching and performing miracles, he waited for his disciples to catch on and understand who he was. He waited for the Father to reveal when his time of suffering would come. He waited in the garden all night to be delivered over to the authorities, pleading that the cup might be removed. He waited to die as he hung on the cross. Even now, he's waiting until the fullness of time when he returns to set all things right.
As his followers, Christians live in the tension of the already and the not-yet. We know Christ died and was resurrected, and yet we wait for his second coming. The waiting is uncomfortable and full of unknowns. And yet, our waiting draws us closer to the heart of Jesus who modeled how to wait well: in submission to the Father.
Right before he was arrested, Jesus prayed "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." (Luke 22:42)
Do you hear the humility? The Son of God, the second member of the Trinity, submitting out of loving reverence to the Father's will. He is sweating drops of blood in anticipation of the agony to come, is honest in his pleas for mercy, and yet receives this plan God has chosen to redeem the world.
How often do I make demands of God like he is a genie, and as if I am entitled to my desires? How often do I find myself looking longingly at what I don't have, instead of lovingly to the God who is completely, radically, abundantly for me? He cares about my dreams, but is quick to tear them down when I desire the gift more than the Giver.
My waiting reveals my idols. Where am I placing my hope? Will I be crushed if the dream I am waiting for never happens? Waiting for and hoping in anything or anyone except the person of Jesus will always disappoint.
Which leads to the questions: How do we know we're waiting on the Lord, and not our idols? What does waiting look like, tangibly?
Waiting takes practice and daily surrender! Continue to confess and surrender misaligned hopes. If you don't yet want Jesus more than the dream you're waiting for, pray "I want to want you, Jesus."
Make your requests known to God. Be completely honest about what you want, but believe whatever today's daily bread looks like or tastes like, is enough.
Actively expect to hear God's voice, but have patience when it's not clear. Continue seeking Him, but know the answer might not be what you want. Believe He is working for your good and His glory.
Remember it's not on you to make something happen. Be willing to act if God says move, to apply for the job, or send the text, but know the outcome of events does not ultimately depend on you.
Believe God is moving, even when we don't see it. Thank Him in advance for going before us to provide for and surprise us.
Trust God can and will make a table in the wilderness; a feast out of what was once a dream. He partners with us, and as our dreams are surrendered to him, we find He has placed those desires there, and delights to deliver above what we can ask or imagine.
Hold contentment and longing in tension. It is possible to be grateful for your current season of life, while desiring the next! Practice gratitude for all you currently have; it might change faster than you realize.
Worship! It gets our eyes off what we don't have, and onto who God is which changes everything.
Healthy waiting is not passively sitting on your bed until Prince Charming knocks on your front door or the job offer pops into your inbox. Waiting is an active participation in the life before you right now! It is an invitation to invite God into the pain of waiting, where we find greater surrender, dependency, and intimacy with Jesus. Waiting is having faith that God is still good when you don't see anything happening. Waiting with hope is an act of defiance against doubt and unbelief. Thankfully, we each have a lifetime to embrace it. The waiting won't end, the dreams we're waiting for will just change.
A mentor recently shared a helpful analogy about the heart of the Father. As a parent herself, she didn't tell her son that he was getting a survival kit for his 6th birthday, not because she was hiding anything, but out of love and protection. If her son had known what was coming, he might have imagined what type of survival kit he was getting, and been disappointed if it didn't look exactly as he imagined. Instead, as loving parents, they waited and surprised their son with a good gift when he was ready to receive it in its fullness and explore the depths of the gift that was now his.
Maybe it has been years since you've seen movement in the area you most desire change. What if God isn't ignoring your prayers, but he's inviting you to trust him and know him as enough in your waiting? What if it's dark because he is covering your eyes and leading you lovingly towards a grand reveal?
Waiting takes faith and courage. Friends, "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful" (Hebrews 10:35). More than our dreams, we are waiting on our faithful God to move and provide far beyond what we ask or imagine.
So, what are you waiting for? Tell Jesus, then hope with faith and anticipation. Wait with expectation that the Good Father longs to surprise and delight you.
reminder: spring is coming; seasons change
Listen to "In Every Season" by Kate Rosen