When Plan A Fails… And Plan B Does Too
Do you remember growing up and feeling like you could conquer the world? Each year you feel older and more capable—energized by so much potential. Anything is possible if you work hard enough; it’s just a matter of time until you watch your dreams become a reality.
That’s how I felt as I emerged into adulthood. I don’t know when the shift happened, but I’m officially old enough that I don’t feel that way anymore. Maybe the disillusionment set in when I changed careers, or when I failed to achieve the dreams I thought I wanted, or when I experienced heartbreak for the first time.
If you’re anything like me, you had a grand imagination in your youth for who you would be when you grow up, and high hopes for all that you would accomplish. Maybe now you find yourself “grown up” and frustrated that life feels a lot more ordinary and difficult than you imagined. Or maybe tragedy has changed your plans in ways you never anticipated.
I pride myself in being a planner, having goals, and achieving them. It’s taken me a long time to acknowledge that even my best plans are not in my control. I am powerless, in my own strength and willpower, to achieve the perfect future that I envision. Not only are many of my dreams (like marriage) dependent on another person, but I simply cannot predict when my life will take an unexpected turn - either for the better or the worse.
I recently sat with a friend whose life was completely upended. She received news that she did not want, and she now has a massive decision to make—the outcome of which will impact the rest of her life. Her Plan A is really good, but is no longer a reality. She will either move forward with a tainted and scarred version of Plan A, or she will choose Plan B, which is not what she wanted.
It’s very rare that our Plan A is actually achieved. It’s more common that most of us are living Plan C, Plan E, maybe even Plan J lives. Sometimes we’ve simply gotten older and changed our minds about what we want the plan to look like. Other times, we move on to the next plan because everything about reality feels stripped away and taken from us by force. Our plans don’t usually account for a cancer diagnosis, a breakup, a cross-country move, a death, an unplanned pregnancy, or a job loss. We would need more than 26 letters in the alphabet in order to rank these losses amongst our favored plans.
The shock and grief that we experience when our plans are disrupted often comes as a result of idolizing Plan A, believing our life must line up with said plan. If our hope is set on the future according to our own imagination, we will understandably be offended when we encounter roadblocks and forks in the road. We will also be prone to envy and bitterness towards others who get to live the life we wanted. Instead, what if we stopped measuring our reality against our ideal plans?
What if the point of life is receiving each day as a gift, even when it feels messy and painful and nothing like we anticipated?
My best-laid plans will fail. My dreams for the future have changed and will continue to change. I have been disappointed by life “not going my way,” and I will lament and grieve some of the unexpected turns for the rest of my life. The only thing I have found successful in helping me move forward with plans that are not my own is surrender. Who am I to say that my original plans would have been better than what God has given me? “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” (Proverbs 19:21).
When I accept that God is in control of my life and he will lead me on a winding, unpredictable, incredible journey through my days on earth, then I am free to release my grip on my imagined future and fully embrace my current reality, trusting that I am exactly where I am meant to be.
Today I am so grateful that God frustrated my plans (Plans A-E, to be precise) and led me to my current reality: discovering fullness and joy and hope in every season of life—even in the ones I never wanted. Instead of striving for a future according to my ideals, I am surrendering my future to God’s better plan for me—a posture that initially looked like defeat, but turned out to be my greatest victory.
As I reminded the friend holding broken pieces of her Plan A, sometimes the best things in life are unexpected. If God let Plan A fail, then we can trust that Plan B will be even better. If God let Plan B fail, then we can trust Plan C will be even better… and on and on and on.
Friend, you cannot imagine the good, redemptive, beautiful twists and turns that your life will take when you let your plans fail. You have not missed out the good things God has for you.
For further reflection:
Are there plans that you are holding for your future that haven’t been fully surrendered to God? Spend time talking to God about your desires. Ask for the grace to let go of control and receive whatever he has for you. Ask for faith and hope that God has good plans in store for you, even if they look different from what you would choose.
Are there plans that have failed which have left you feeling hurt or disappointed? Spend time talking to God about your pain. Ask where Jesus was present in the painful situation. Ask for healing and freedom from the pain. Ask for faith and hope even in the midst of the pain.