“Freedom is contagious.” “Vulnerability breeds vulnerability.” “Throw kindness around like confetti.”

These are phrases that get tossed around often, but do we ever stop to think how profound they are? This morning I’m sitting in a coffee shop listening to a barista ask questions in a way that invites customers to share stories about their lives and their kids. I watched parents prompt their young son to run over and hold the door for an elderly woman. Humans are so cool, if I remember to notice it.

If I’m honest, most days I don’t want to talk to strangers. I seem to have it stuck in my mind that I’m not allowed to share a laugh with someone I don’t know or ask how their day is going. Some days I don’t even remember to do this with my friends. In short, I forget they are human.

We all long for connection with other people—it’s our hardwiring as humans. Of course we need alone time, some people more than others, but in our healthiest, happiest state, we deeply desire to be seen and known. There’s no reason why that can’t happen in a coffee shop, or a grocery store, or in our homes.

The extent to which I acknowledge another person and take an interest in their life, I affirm and invite their humanity. We all walk around preoccupied and self-conscious. We think we must get out act together before we can show up authentically with other people, but the opposite is true: we are most authentic in our scattered, messy thoughts. To be human is not to be a perfect robot, it is to go through life holding complexity, tension, dreams, and fears within ourselves. We’ll actually explode if we try to hide all these rather than sharing them and inviting people to hold our dreams and fears with us. It’s how we show up despite the insecurity that is a measure of our authenticity.

I’ll be the first to admit I have missed countless opportunities to connect with people because I’m stuck in my head thinking about myself instead of how I can listen to and celebrate others. It takes practice to be human, which is why we all need encouragement and grace along the way. The potential reward of this lifestyle of connection? You can be the reason someone truly lives. The way I smile at a stranger matters. The way I followup with a friend and ask intentional questions about how they’re doing is deeply significant. The way I call a student at my music studio or church by name, or better yet, ask how their week was and remember a detail they shared in the past, changes their day! We come alive when we feel seen and known! The alternative? Something within us starts to wither, and if denied long enough, decay. Human connection is truly a matter of life or death.

So how do we connect? We train the muscles of courage, vulnerability, and authenticity.

Courage: a practice in offering oneself freely and authentically to others. This does NOT mean the absence of fear, but the conscious choice to be authentic and vulnerable when the voices in your head try to silence you. Courage is an active fight against fear. It is a repeated effort to believe you are worth of love, and an endless opportunity to prove that faith can conquer fear.

Vulnerability: the gift of initiating connection, community, and depth. When we offer ourselves authentically, we say “this is me! I am human! I am not perfect, but that’s a good thing and you can be human without needing to be perfect, too.” This type of connection is an invitation and one of the most loving things we can give to others: the freedom to bring their fullness and be celebrated, not rejected.

Authenticity: the joyful and bold proclamation of who you are and who you are becoming. To show up as anything less than your true self is to be hiding behind a mask and living a lie. But to embrace the freedom of your imperfect, beautiful mess of unique thoughts, dreams and talents, THAT is contagious.

The reason I love watching musicals is you get to celebrate people living outside of themselves: stepping fully into the humanity of another character and being that character unashamedly. Acting demands denying yourself and demonstrating unhindered freedom and expression—the type of freedom that we all long to experience in our own lives. The joy of human authenticity is we don’t need to act, we simply press into the things that make us unique and share ourselves with courage. And sometimes, you might even feel the freedom to break into song and dance!

To make it personal: I am most myself when I am super goofy and super deep. It took me a while to realize they can go hand in hand. I can most successfully lead a team and cultivate group bonding by making everyone dress up and film a silly music video. I can teach music lessons and life lessons by showing kids how to laugh at mistakes rather than be ashamed of them. I can share a pun in the middle of a staff meeting or over coffee with a friend and it connects our hearts over laughter and invites freedom and life into the space. One of the best compliments I’ve received is “Addie, you are so serious about your faith, but you don’t take life seriously at all.” I hope my joy is contagious. I hope as I offer myself authentically, others are inspired to do the same, and I’m counting on that looking different than the way I do it!

A final note: authenticity is not a persona I create for myself, it is an expression of who Jesus has made me to be. I know Jesus to be the way, the truth, and the life of the party! I have joy because I am in his presence every moment of every day, and in His presence is fullness of joy (Ps. 16:11). I have experienced the freedom that comes from being known and loved by Him first, and that is why it’s so important that I know and love others. It’s Jesus’ presence and love that I pray invades every conversation with friends, family, and even strangers.

So go throw kindness around like confetti because it costs us nothing and gives the people around us life! Walk in joy and love, and watch as the people around you start to do the same. Practice vulnerability, dare to share yourself authentically, and take courage, dear heart.