When Your Soul Doesn’t Wait for God Alone
"For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken." Psalm 62:1-2
I read Psalm 62 this morning and did my usual head nod in agreement, as my eyes skimmed the page and my mind quickly moved on. I'm guilty again of reading scripture as an item on my to-do list.
When I came back to Psalm 62 this afternoon, I did not make it past the first verse. "For God alone my soul waits in silence." This time I couldn't nod in agreement. My head tells me this statement is true; I can affirm it as something I want to agree with. But my heart gives itself away. I read this verse and am restless. My soul is not silent, it is writhing anxiously inside me. I am not waiting for God alone, I am waiting on 100 other outcomes that I would like to take control of. From Him comes my salvation, sure. But I believe I will feel more secure in my salvation if I control those outcomes. Now I'm shaking my head in horror rather than agreement. I want to identify with this verse, but I know deep down my life proves otherwise.
Yet, these verses are still true of me. God alone is my rock and my salvation. He is my fortress and I will not be greatly shaken. Even though I try to build my own fortress, it is a pile of sticks in God's back yard. My temporary hiding place will fall when the storm hits, but I am still safe in God's kingdom. He will still be waiting when I run into His arms and repent of the ways I once again valued my own ability to build a shelter apart from Him. The irony is there is usually nothing wrong with the fortresses I build, if my pile of sticks represents a fort that I enjoy playing in. But as soon as I trust in the work of my hands to protect me or satisfy me in a way I think God cannot, I fail to trust in God alone as my rock and my salvation.
I read on: "For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him" (v.5). This time I pray my heart and soul into submission with King David, the author of this Psalm. He too, had to preach these verses to himself, willing head knowledge of God into his heart. Even David, the man after God's own heart, failed big time before God, yet confidently wrote "I shall not be shaken" (v.6). Our plans for comfort and success will fail, but we must remind ourselves true salvation will not be shaken.
I begin to notice something else. My heart is starting to feel more at peace; my soul is silent. I recognized and confessed how my heart strays from God's truth, and in doing so I received anew His mercy and grace. The pressure to carry my burdens into the fortress I have built is lifted, and I see once again that God is my only refuge. Within minutes, He has convicted me of sin and freed me from my striving. He has reminded me that my life is fleeting, but His steadfast love and power remain forever (v.9-12).
Friends, don't just read scripture and nod in agreement if the Spirit working in your heart reveals it is not true. Let the scriptures search you and free you from placing your hope and trust in anything but God alone. Only then will you find the peace and the silence that you long for. Only then can you uphold with full confidence David's words in verse 8: "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us."